One Year Ago...

We ate pizza for dinner. I felt a little funny - but I usually did after dinner in the evenings. For months I had been having lots of practice contractions at that time of day. I thought I would get up and clean the kitchen - moving around usually helped.

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As I washed up things did not get better. I started mopping up the kitchen floor (talk about bizarre behaviour!) and finally your Dad came in the kitchen to see what I was up to.

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"Are you crazy - what are you doing down there?!" he asked. I was on my hands and knees.

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"I just thought it might be my last chance for a while". He shook his head and put your brother to bed. I kept it to myself that I thought I might be in labour.

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I kept cleaning - I knew that if I was in labour it would take a little while. Maybe after the house was clean I would take the dog out for a stroll just to be sure what I was feeling was really going on. How could I forget this when it hadn't even been two years...

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Troy poked his head in the kitchen again, "I'm going to the video store to get a movie - you want anything?".

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"I wouldn't bother getting a movie - I'm think I am in labour."

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"Now? Can't you wait until the morning?" It was 8pm - I was pretty sure I couldn't.

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"I'm think it will be faster this time." He just rolled his eyes and asked if I was going to call the doctor. When I did, the doctor told me to get up to the hospital sooner than later because the last time I had a baby it was surgery so they needed to monitor me a little closer.

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So I packed my bag, and called my parents to come over to watch Ethan and then I hopped in the shower. The contractions were getting pretty strong - now I KNEW I was in labour. The shower was nice - I took my time - it would probably still be a while anyways.

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When I came out of the bathroom all dressed and ready to leave - my very excited parents were there to photograph the event and see us off. I was still puttering - it was now 9:45. I guess we should get going.

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Drive to the hospital, park, check in, get examined, fill out paperwork. Then it was 10:45 and time to start walking the halls to really get things going.

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By 11:30 I was finished walking and ready for some "pain assistance". I was only making it a few steps between each contraction and they were getting STRONG! I let the nurse know that I needed to lay down and was hoping for some relief! By the time she put my IV in (required if you are having "pain assistance") and checked my progress she found out it was too late for an epidural. WHAT!?!!?

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She offered me some phentenol which is basically only like having a couple of strong martinis and pretty much after this point I don't remember much about the next couple of hours because of the combination of the pain of labour and the happy gas between contractions. Soon after it was time to start pushing. I think I remember feeling like I was going to die - and hearing Troy and my doctor chuckling about how crazy having a baby is and how it is amazing but they were glad that they didn't have to! It is a wonder how your body functions on automatic pilot in this situation.

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You had a large torso, so the pushing was not done after your head came out as it is with most babies (I am told). Troy told me later that I was pushing until your belly button appeared and then you were finally able to be pulled from me at 2am. Though the delivery was long - it was as if I had taken a magic pill once I was done. Moments after we were separated I came back to consciousness and felt wonderful!

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Your arrival was much more intense than your brother's - but the scene afterwards was one of warm contentment. The birth was definitely easier in the long run then the surgery was. After half an hour I was up and having a shower! We were ready to go home the next morning at 9. You were a bit banged up from the trip out - but what a trooper!

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Like the birth - you have moments of intensity and fury! But for the most part you are goofy and content and really the most agreeable baby I have ever met! You are so laid back, so happy most of the time. It is a wonder and a blessing that you came with this personality and what a relief because I might have lost my mind between the two of you boys in the first few months of your life if you had any different type of temperament.

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It was as if you were created just so for fitting in to our family perfectly. Like you were always meant to be here. And now it would be impossible to imagine life without you. We couldn't love you any more, Beckett. You rock little dude! (I bet that is going to sound very un-hip years from now when you read this but oh well)

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Happy 1st Birthday

Love from Mama XOXOXO