Gone to Doggie Heaven

Cooper is gone. I don't know how else to say this. We knew going to the vet today that we would probably not be coming home with him. Our vet was surprised at how sick he had gotten in the last two weeks. He was not responding to the "clinical" help and she agreed that he didn't need any more poking or prodding or pills.

I imagine that I kind of understand what the parents of death row inmates must go through. Knowing that time is marching towards the inevitable - yet waiting and hoping for that unrealistic last minute pardon that always seems to come in the movies.

His mind and spirit were willing, but his body was failing. It was comforting to see him still wag his tail, and pick up a ball because he was excited that someone was at the door - even this morning. As much as we wanted to find the good things and look for improvements, he was having a hard time breathing properly, and his back end was starting to give out, and he was asleep almost all the time. He was only eating because he was on steroids, and we didn't want to sustain him with medication.

It did not seem fair to keep him alive without really living because he had been such a vibrant and vigorous dog. We knew that we had to let him go because we really love him and we didn't want him to suffer.

We will miss the clickity clack of his stinky nacho feet on the deck and hardwood floors. We will miss his little "brain" and velvety ears. We will miss him barking at the church bells and the skoozies in the backyard. We will miss him picking up shoes and making a whirring noise everytime someone comes to the door. I'm sure that there will still be dog hair in everything I cook for the next several years - but that's ok.

It feels empty at our house right now with the kids asleep - but I know that Cooper is somewhere in doggie heaven enjoying some pepperoni sticks and a butt scratch - and winning the waggy-est tail contest because his whole back end is wiggling and his helicopter tail is lifting him off the ground.